Jesus Christ, our Lord and saviour, descended from heaven Tuesday night with a very important message: Students who are pursuing post-secondary education should major in economics, not psychology. He took to the Vatican, where he delivered a sermon so rousing it rivalled his words on the cross.
“Even if you’re already doing psychology, you can always change your major,” said Jesus. “If you’re in third or fourth year it might be too late, but if that’s the case then you should do a masters in economics. That’ll pay for itself, unlike your psych degree.”
Jesus had some harsh things to say about the field of psychology.
“Oh sure, they claim to have a monopoly on the social sciences; on the study of behaviour; on human nature even. But do you really believe psychologists can ascertain these truths through dinky little lab experiments on undergrads? I mean come on guys, I don’t know how you got it so wrong. I’ve only been gone a couple of thousand years and already this place is falling apart.”
“Let’s face the facts: Economics is the only social science policy makers actually factor into their decision making. It’s also the only social science God factors into his decision making. That’s right ladies and gentlemen. Milton Friedman, Adam Smith, and Big Daddy Keynes are in heaven right now doing speedballs with God. And where is Freud you might ask? Well, I think we all know the answer to that question…”
The Pope, who was in attendance, turned to Jesus and said: “Christ, your holiness, I humbly accept the wisdom you have bestowed upon humanity. I have but one question. What of those who major in psychology because they wish to be therapists? Surely you would not recommend they major in economics?”
With this suggestion, Jesus became enraged and overturned the table at which he and the Pope were seated.
“You can’t be serious,” said Jesus. “All of the psychological research into the efficacy of therapists suggests that training in psychology does not make one a better therapist. The only thing that matters is the quality of the therapist/client relationship, and that has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you majored in psychology. Don’t you see? Even what little reliable psychology research there is is telling you to get out while you can.”
“Seriously, guys, there’s just no excuse, none at all. Economics is just a better field in every possible way. Do you want to make money? Do you want to understand human behaviour? Do you want to avoid being tortured by Satan for all eternity? If so, discard your psychological ambitions and major in economics. Jesus out.”
Having completed his mission, Jesus ascended to heaven.