Artsy personality disorder has officially been added to the DSM. Clinical psychologist Dr. Dan Oldman is responsible for creating the diagnosis, and now runs a small private clinic to treat those afflicted.
“After being a clinician for 13 years, I began to notice that some of my patients didn’t have a conventional mood or personality disorder. They had a lot of issues, but at the bottom, their biggest issue was that they tried very hard to appear artistic but they weren’t artistic at all.”
Dr. Oldman elaborated: “These patients had a lot of tchotchkes, wore band shirts or clothes they bought at Value Village, and all of them were trying for this eclectic look that was incredibly tacky. They listened to blasé indie music on cheap record players, the kind with a built in speaker. I mean, this is truly pathological behaviour we’re talking about here.”
Before the diagnosis of artsy personality disorder was conceived, patients with similar symptoms were treated with cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, and psychotropic drugs. But now that the diagnosis exists, these patients are taught new skills instead.
“This new treatment model is amazing,” said Cindy Hughes, one of the first to be diagnosed with artsy personality disorder. “Instead of hours of useless therapy, I’ve learned to cook balanced meals, been shown how to make responsible fashion choices, and am taking singing lessons.”
Arty Personality Disorder Symptoms (must have min. 5 of 8 and at least one of 1 or 2)
- the uncritical adoption of eclectic aesthetics
- the taking of Polaroid photographs
- associating with those who are artistic and then getting extremely jealous of them
- the collection of bottle caps, lighters, cigarette cartons, leaves etc.
- lack of original thoughts
- owning a “uke”
- some artistic skills but no artistic vision
- living life ironically like one is in a postmodern novel
If you or someone you love is suffering, please contact your family doctor for a referral to a clinical psychologist.